So my designer tells me my invites are almost done… in theory they should be done by the end of next week, and then they’ll be sent around to the families for approval and then off to the printer. But first, i need to firm up the writing. I was really keen on doing something simple like:
together with their families…
But B really wants to have our parents named on the invite, as they are funding this wicked awesome party. And i totally understand, but i really don’t know how to include everyone’s names, while still keeping the casual vibe! I mean there will be poutine, and tacos and sliders at this wedding. It’s not sterling silver and crystal… My google search turned up a Martha Stewart page with instructions on how to word the invite. SWEET FANCY MOSES, why is it so darned complicated? There were 15 different steps in this instruction guide! I just want to say: We’re getting married, come drink and dance with us! The end.
Apparently there’s a billion different formalities to wording an invite, even a slightly informal invite.
So after i gave up on figuring out all those instructions, i clicked on to an article about addressing the envelopes. I wish i could UN-SEE this! MY goodness! Did you know it’s not kosher to print your addresses on a label and slap it on the front? You are supposed to hand write each address. And if you were truly going to be proper about it, your return address should be blind embossed. And are you aware of exactly how to write each persons name in the address? Are they a doctor? in the army? Are they living with their boyfriend? Single? Married but don’t share a last name? And what’s the dillio with an inner and outer envelope. GET LOST. This is too much. I’ve never once received a wedding invite and spent more than 2 seconds starring at the envelope it came in!
My gosh, my head is going to explode with all this formality! Yikes.
So I’ve encountered a few challenges this week…. the first is with the DJ company. Something to know is that we are having a friend DJ our wedding, but we have to use the sound system at the venue (duh) and it’s owned by an outside DJ company who are charging us a technician fee to just have someone on site, making sure our DJ doesn’t blow a speaker. Fine. The fee is not cheap, it’s $50/hr, essentially for an extra dude in the room for the entire night. The owner of the DJ Company is the person i’ve been dealing with and he’d asked me to be in touch with our DJ to find out what he needs. I was at a gig on Friday night and our DJ friend was in attendance, and we were talking about song choices etc (Bon Jovi is a must, and so is Summer of ’69 by Bryan Adams). I asked what he needs he said turn tables and a mixer. Sounds standard to me…. I pass along this message to the DJ Company and check this, turns out, they don’t supply turn tables…. a DJ company that does not have turn tables… WTF?! So guess what. It will cost me more money to rent them. Why should it cost me more money to rent the equipment, when i’m already forced to use your services. You should provide what i need considering the hourly fee i’m paying for your guy to stand around and do nothing for 8 hours!
A DJ company without turntables…
Second challenge of the week, and it’s only Wednesday, scheduling a tasting at one of the potential caterers. One of them, was easy peasy, it’s set up for next Tuesday evening. The other company only does tastings Monday – Friday, during business hours…. I’m pretty sure i’m not the only client in the world with a job, so why would they only do tastings during office hours, when people who can afford their services – work?! So despite their delicious sounding menu, i may not be able to choose them because i can’t get time off to taste their food! Seems silly. Another strange thing about this particular caterer is they don’t have automatic gratuity. It’s up to the discretion of the client … which makes me feel horrible for the staff on site at events because what happens when you work 5 hours at party for a difficult client and they just leave without paying a tip! Most caterers include the tip in their quote. So you can’t forget. But if i hadn’t have shown the quote to my sister – who works in the industry, i probably would not have noticed that the tip was not included, and i could have accidentally been that jerk that stiffs the staff on a tip!
And the third challenge of the week… though it’s a different kind of challenge, will be to test bake the mini cheesecakes for the wedding! I’m hosting a mini-cheesecake baking party this saturday! Results to be posted next week. I’m hungry just thinking about them!!
Today I have discovered so many awesome things on the internet. I’m always impressed with creative people. And today, my mind is blown at some of these creative things i’ve found. Some i wish i had found earlier… like this Etsy Card Shop Sapling Press.
They have some brilliantly funny cards made for asking your friends to be your maid of honour (or in their case, honor. they’re american) or bridesmaid. I did the card thing, but my cards weren’t nearly as clever… mostly because i had to write them myself. but look at these:
Another thing i found on the internet today is this adorable Rice Krispie Treat wedding cake:
Can you say BUDGET FRIENDLY?!
And lastly, i found this Etsy shop called Liquid Courage, and you know those bridal party members in charge of speeches are gonna need a little of this…Anything on this page would make an adorable thank you gift for your bridal party, male or female. I’m considering a few of these for a groom’s gift! i think B would be really into this idea.. and i know some of my bridal party would appreciate it as well! I’m really digging these ones:
I can cross one more thing off my list! I have officially booked my Officiant! Yay!
I did a bit of research before i booked. Because i could not believe how pricey it was for someone to speak for about 15-20 mins to make it all official, official. I know the job isn’t hard, because I’VE DONE IT. it’s true i ‘officiated’ at a wedding a couple of years ago. There was still a paid officiant on site who said a few words, but i did most of the work.
So here’s what i found out. To book a city hall officiant to do an off-site wedding in the Toronto area is it $373.40. There is a deposit of $203.40. And you book it over the phone and they assign you an officiant who you meet about a month before the wedding to chat about your vision for the ceremony. At this meeting you also pay the dude the balance of the cost $170.
I also looked into Enduring Promises. I just wasn’t in love with how they worked. So they were $295 + HST so $333.35 and the deposit is about $166 if i did the math right. And you’re thinking DEAL. But here’s the catch. You meet your officiant BEFORE you book, and then you don’t see them again till 20 mins before your ceremony. If you want to have another meeting with them, it’s another $100 + HST. And since the chances of you knowing how your ceremony is going to play out a year or in my case 5 months before the wedding, are pretty slim so you’ll need that second meeting. So it’s actually more expensive.
And finally i looked into All Season Weddings. This is the company my friend in Ottawa used to book their officiant. They are $384.70. There is a deposit of $214.70, and you pay the balance of $170 to the officiant at your meeting about a month before the wedding. What’s great about their website is, they list all the officiants that preform ceremonies in the Toronto area, and they each have a bio, testimonials, and some even have a video! So i scrolled through the list of officiants and read the bios and sent a selection of names and All Season Weddings contacted my first choice for me, to confirm their availability. When they heard back they sent me a note with the officiants contact info so i can be in touch via email or telephone before confirming my booking. So i sent the dude a note to give him an idea about what we’re like and what we’re hoping for from our ceremony. After i heard back from him and got a good vibe i called the office and put down my deposit. Boom. Officiant booked! AND i still get an in person meeting one month before the wedding to go over the plans for the ceremony – all included in the initial price!
I feel so accomplished now. I’m just waiting on two more food quotes and i should be able to make a decision about that next week. Things are starting to come together!
That’s probably the toughest sentence to say. And granted most people don’t say it quite so bluntly but that’s what they mean when they say in a round about way that you are not invited to their wedding.
Weddings are stressful, i’m having a really hard time finding a caterer that fits my teeny tiny budget, but on top of that having to deal with people who are asking for an invite to the wedding, or who assume they’re invited is added stress that i don’t need!
Some people i know their feelings won’t be hurt when i say “you’re not invited” and others i just avoid talking about wedding things in front of them so that i don’t have to have the awkward conversation about how they will not be getting an invitation.
I cannot afford to invite every.single.person i’ve ever met, nor would i want them all there anyway. I’m a pretty quiet and shy person, so is my fiance and currently my invite list is at about 127 people + the potential for 13 plus one’s to show up. That’s a possibility of 140 people starring at us while we commit our lives to each other. That’s scary, and quite a ways off from my dream wedding at a chapel in Vegas with Elvis as the Officiant.
Try and remember that weddings aren’t free, and if you aren’t invited to a wedding it’s likely because of the budget, it’s not because you aren’t liked. Try and remember that and don’t take offense. Wish the couple well, and have a toast in their honour where ever you may be on their wedding day. Please don’t add to the stress of their planning by asking their friends if you’re getting an invite – or worse yet asking the couple. They aren’t excluding you to be mean, they just likely cannot afford to invite you. Don’t hold a grudge, it’s petty and reflects poorly on you. You don’t make friends in life simply to be invited to their wedding!
In other news, my goal for this week is to book an officiant! Let’s hope i get it done and can cross that off my list! I’m also meeting with my invitation designer to get started on those!
Oh sweet mercy, have y’all seen this video?
I could only peak at it through my fingers that i was holding in front of my eyes. It was too hard to look directly at it. I was soooo embarrassed for this girl.
So please if you’re considering this move and are not actually Christina Aguilera, please don’t. Save us the pain!
Well sort of two things.
But one may-jah (that’s said in Posh Spice’s voice) thing.
I have booked my photographer. Signed. Sealed. And paid for (the deposit anyway).
It feels so good to accomplish something. It seems that everyday the To Do list grows longer, and yet nothing ever gets crossed off!
But i am happy to report that i secured the lovely and talented Sara Wilde Photography to capture our happy day! Sara has been ever so patient with us (read: me) and my million questions and total full-blown decision-itis. Sara has the style i’ve been looking for and fit into my budget, but i suspect when people catch wind of how beautiful her work is… she’ll raise her prices, so i’m happy i got in early! Check out her site!
Anyway, i’ve been quiet lately because work has consumed my life for the last few weeks, but it’s back to normal now and i’ll be able to get focused again. Next may-jah step is find a bloody caterer. Turns out tacos and poutine are well over priced! I actually inquired with a restaurant that has catered my work parties with a similar menu to what i’m looking for and they didn’t even bother with a quote. They just flat out said on my budget there is nothing they could do to accommodate me. WOW. Even though i know for a fact that i could order dinner at their restaurant for 138 people for less than my proposed budget!!!
In happier news, my darling penguin cake toppers from Milo&Ben arrived in the mail. And wow are they cute!
Anyway, so i’m back on track folks. Look forward to more regular updates from me on my wacky experience in planning what i had hoped would be the least stressful wedding in the history of the world! Turns out stressful and wedding go together like peanut butter and jam.